MAIN MENU
  • home
  • about mfc
  • getting started
  • treatment
  • patient resources
  • affordability
  • blog
  • contact

contact : 415-925-9404

blog

Is Infertility Stressful?

March 14, 2017
No Comments

This guest blog was written by Helga Fasching, Psy.D.                                            www.drfasching.net

Is infertility stressful?

Yes. Immensely.

An infertility diagnosis most likely will be experienced as a hugely stressful period in most people’s lives. When we feel stressed, our brain releases hormones that signal to our body to respond – either “fight” or “flee” – termed the “fight-or-flight” response. And sinceyour infertility diagnosis is the culmination of sometimes years of trying to have a baby, of disappointment, of worry, of sadness, of anger, of anxiety, our bodies won’t return to a more relaxed state anytime soon. On the contrary, this diagnosis will probably feel like the last straw that you are barely able to take.

Some people will feel numb for some time. They won’t be able to think about what “infertility” means to them and how, or even if, to proceed. Others will dive into decision-making mode so as not to lose a minute to have the baby they so much wish for: Which treatment? When? No treatment? Adoption? The common denominator for the variety of responses people manifest is stressful feelings.

Research has shown that women diagnosed with infertility have significantly higher levels of depressive symptoms than fertile women. One study (Domar, Zuttermeister, & Friedman, 1993) found that levels of depression and anxiety were indistinguishable from levels of those women with cancer, HIV+, and heart disease. Infertility is stressful and can affect all areas in your life.

Infertility can, and most likely will, affect your relationship with your partner since you two won’t react in the exact same way to your diagnosis. It can impact your relationships with friends and family. How much to disclose? How to react to insensitive remarks? What about those baby showers? It can affect your job and relationship with co-workers. Most likely you will have to miss some work in order to make it to your doctor appointments. A co-worker may be pregnant and that’s the one thing you cannot tolerate right now. And then there is the financial side to infertility and its treatment.

So, what to do about it?

First of all, you are not alone. At any given time, there are about 72 million women worldwide who are infertile and a little more than half of these are currently seeking medical care. We can assume that most of these women experience stressful feelings such as depressive symptoms, anger, irritability, sleep disruption, anxiety, and many others that can result in isolation and loneliness.

Also, it is completely normal to experience stress and to respond to stress in a variety of ways. Don’t be surprised if you feel really, really bad at times. You are dealing with something big and something you never thought you’d have to go through.

There are some strategies though that you can use to manage your stress. The following are some techniques that will help alleviate your stress – if you practice:

• Keep a journal: A trusted friend who’ll be there at 2 am
• Set aside some “worry time:” Every day, plan on worrying about your infertility diagnosis 10 to 20 minutes. You are not allowed to do anything but worry and think and feel. When, during other times you notice yourself getting anxious/worried/sad/irritable/_______, tell yourself that your “worry time” has been set aside and that you will pay attention to your overwhelming feelings during that time. And then really do it!
• Think about how you have successfully dealt with setbacks in the past. What strategies did you use? How did you manage to feel better?
• Try some relaxation exercises such as breathing exercises, deep muscle relaxation, meditation, or take up yoga
• Talk to some trusted family members or friends about your stress and let them know how they can best support you
• Talk back to those nasty “should’s” – as in: “I should not be upset about this;” or “I should not have partied so hard in college;” or “I should not have waited so long to try to have children.” Think about what a person who loves you for just the way you are would tell you. Take his or her advice and be kind to and compassionate with yourself.
• Eat a well-balance diet and try to exercise every day
• Spend time outside — in nature if you can
• If you’ve found a strategy – any strategy (even one not listed here) — that works for you, let me know. I’ll help you spread the word to others who are in a similar situation.

 

At this difficult time in your life, it’s normal to experience all sorts of feelings that sometimes seem to overwhelm you. Be good to yourself, practice some coping strategies every day, and remember that, no matter how, you will resolve your infertility. You will be fine.

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

connect with us
facebookinstagramyoutube

contact us

Secure Electronic Contact Request Form

Marin (Main Office & Lab)

1100 S. Eliseo Dr. Ste 107
Greenbrae, CA 94904
T 415.925.9404
F 415.925.9410

San Francisco

2137 Lombard St. 2nd Fl
San Francisco, CA 94123
T 415.925.9404
F 415.925.9410

SATELLITES

Berkeley

2999 Regent St Ste 101A
Berkeley, CA 94705
English language
T 415.925.9404
中文服务热线
T 415.528.0009

Napa

3250 Beard Ave
Napa, CA 94558
T 707.259-1955
F 415.925.9410

Santa Rosa

3452 Mendocino Ave Ste A
Santa Rosa, CA 95403
T 707.523-1768
F 415.925.9410
  • home
  • about mfc
  • getting started
  • treatment
  • patient resources
  • affordability
  • blog
  • contact
Copyright © 2021 Marin Fertility Center. All Rights Reserved.